A New Leash on Life

Okay, here’s what happened today. Usual routine of up and out the window, but lately there has been a twist. I have been getting honest to goodness walks. And I’m not talking about the kind where we go 15 feet into the back yard. The Bouncy One and The One Who Is Seriously Concerned About My Health came home the other day with some new stuff for me which has greatly improved my quality of life in the house with the cats.

The best thing I got was a new collar and leash. The collar is a wee bit scary but it seems to be associated with going on real walks so I am permitting them to put it on me. It is shiny and makes a rattling sound but the real drawback is that when I go on walks and say, decide to chase a squirrel, they CHOKE me with it. This stops me quite quickly and the squirrel gets away. I’m not crazy about it, but it does mean more real walks.

Walking with The Bouncy One is quite different than walking with The Serious One. When I walk with The Bouncy One, I can pretty much do anything I want because she is a pushover. She only chokes me when there is another animal around, like say, that really cool pit bull I saw the other day. But otherwise I can head her into the bushes to do some smelling or take her on my preferred route. Sometimes, she tries to turn me around to go home too soon, and I simply look at her with my disgruntled look and lie down. I can’t believe this works so well with her… she actually gives in and keeps going in the right direction for a while longer!

Not so with The Serious One. He doesn’t give me any slack whatsoever. I do admire his authority however, and the upside is that his walks are more serious. For instance, unlike The Bouncy One, he doesn’t bring a coffee cup and saunter and stop and talk to people. He is all business and we go real far. When they both go, it’s okay, but there’s A LOT of chattering. This also usually involves going to the place where all the people (lots of little ones) hang out and eat stuff out of their hands. It’s a happy place. Sometimes there are other dogs there but they won’t let me get near them on account of how I have had a few “negative exchanges” recently with some of my kind. Sometimes I put on my crazy scary face and lunge after dogs I pass just to see what they’ll do. This makes The Bouncy One and The Serious One REALLY REALLY mad. I’m not sure why I do this but I just can’t seem to stop !

Today I got two walks – one after I got out of the CAGE with The Serious One and one later with The Bouncy One. I miss my Boy and Girl but at least the walks are improving.

What the Hell???

Okay, here’s what happened today. Up before dawn, shoved out the window, fed and then got a very brief and very poor version of a walk. The Stretched Out One Who Bounces Around A Lot ties me to the long orange rope and brings me out to the back where the squirrels are - beyond where the chickens are. Then she sits down with her coffee cup on the grass and says “go on Sylvester, Go Potty”. Is she freaking serious? I look at her and stop in my tracks. She continues with the “Go on Sylvester, Go Potty” business and I can’t believe what I am hearing. I lie down. She seems a little frustrated, and pops up and starts walking again. I guess my strategy worked, cuz we are moving again. However, next thing I know we are going back to the house. What??? Inside??? Now I’m frustrated.

Back in the house, there is much rushing about and then suddenly the door slams and the house goes silent. “Oh Goodie” I think… “I’m not in the CAGE.”

Time to check out the CATS.

It appears as though the entire intention of the arrangement of this house is to keep me AWAY from the CATS. Which I don’t understand at all because I love CATS….love to chase ‘em that is. First there is the CAGE and then there is the see-through walls. The see-through walls are really really annoying because I can SEE the CATS, but I can’t get to them. I tried to knock the see-through wall down the other day but The Bouncy One was all “NO Sylvester, NO Sylvester” in an angry voice. But I can stare at the CATS when they walk by and stick my nose through the bars of the see-through walls. The black one is kinda mean – sneers at me and makes a noise that sounds kinda scary for such a small thing . But I like him cause he shows up. The stripey one is less likely to be seen. Now, I don’t mean to judge, but the stripey one is FAT which may account for his laziness in coming by for visits.

So basically my day while the house was all silent went like this:

1. Check out Cats.
2. Nap
3. Stretch
4. Drink Some water
5. Repeat

Then all of a sudden, I hear the back door open and a “Sylvesterrrrrrrr”. It’s The Bouncy One. Damn, I was hoping for the Boy or the Girl. Oh well.

First thing she does is pet me on the head and then shove me out the window again (but actually I did have to go a little…it’s been hours!.)

Then I went on the most bizarre walk of my life.

She puts the orange rope on me and brings me to where the chickens are and ties me up and goes into this little building. I don’t even have time to begin to decide how to get over the fence to say hello to the chickens when I hear this god awful sound and the next thing I see is she’s rolling out of the building sitting on this big green and yellow thing that makes a really really loud sound. Then she grabs my rope and proceeds to drag me around while she sits on this really loud thing going back and forth, back and forth all over the grass. I have to stay on one side cuz there is all kinds of stuff blowing out of the thing on the other side.


Well this goes on for quite some time. It wasn’t that bad of a walk (I did need the exercise) but it was really loud and we didn’t go anywhere where I could smell stuff.

So, apparently, these two events constitute “walks” in this new home of mine.

I'm Not Really A Morning Dog

Okay. So this is my first blog entry. I’m Sylvester . I’m a dog. Apparently I am experiencing transition. AGAIN.

Anyway, to learn more about ME, please refer to the “About Me” page on this web site.

Here’s what happened today.

Woke up in a CAGE (we’ll talk more about that later) in the house with the CATS. The one that looks like the Girl but is all “Stretched Out and Bounces Around A Lot” always wakes me up. She wakes up when it is still dark out. I don’t understand. I LOVE to sleep in, yet she is up stomping around all “good morrrrrning Sylvester”. I mean really… the sun isn’t even up yet, why is she? More importantly…. Why am I ???

So then it gets even more ridiculous. She opens up the CAGE and coaxes me out. I am not complying. She then pulls me over to a window with a stair in front of it and basically pushes me out the window and says “go on Sylvester, go potty”. For crying out loud. I just woke up. She expects me to go out a window and instantly be ready to “do my business” just for her convenience??? Sigh.

Okay, so basically I’m out side in this “pen”, which as far as I can tell, is just an outdoor version of the CAGE only with grass. I do like the grass though. It’s nice. I dug a big hole the first time I was out there. The one that looks like the Boy but is “Bigger And Seriously Concerned About My Health” seemed kinda cranky about that saying things like “there goes my sod”. But I digress….

Eventually the Stretched Out One That Bounces Around A Lot opens the window to let me back in the house. She has no idea I didn’t do anything out there except stare into space. I lie down on the floor hoping to catch a few more z’s when all of a sudden the Bigger And Seriously Concerned About My Health comes down and wants to have some sort of interaction. He wakes me up, pets me and then leaves to go into the little room with the really big water bowl that I get yelled at if I drink out of. You know the room I’m talking about.

Back to sleep I go and not more than 2 minutes later the Boy and the Girl come in and I am super glad to see them. I can’t understand why I can’t go upstairs and sleep with them like I use to before the really really really long car ride, but I think it has something to do with the CATS.

Later on that morning there was a lot of petting and hugging. The Girl has water coming out of her eyes (I licked her and it’s kinda salty) and the Boy is hugging me so much I think I just peed a little.

Then the house fell silent and I got to take a nap.