There's No Place Like Home

OMG OMG OMG, I’m in so much trouble. Here’s what happened.

The Serious One, The Bouncy One and I took a really long car ride and we ended up at the House that I’ve been to before with the creek in the back yard. I was very excited to be there, but holy smokes, I couldn’t believe how different it looked. There were big giant trees lying around on the grass all over the place.

I also couldn’t believe the first thing they did was tie me up instead of taking me on a good walk after that long ride. Hmmpf. Then they spent a whole lot of time near me, but not with me. Mostly they were picking up the messy yard. I couldn’t believe they were using all that energy on sticks and leaves instead of a good walk.

Then something scary happened. These two men, who completely ignored me, came over and there was talking talking talking. Then The Serious One took me on my rope down by the river with everyone and there was more ignoring and talking with the men. Then I got tied up again in the yard and everyone scattered. Suddenly, there was a very very very annoying beeping sound in the yard. This did not seem to bother anyone but ME. It kept happening and was driving me crazy. I looked around to be rescued but The Serious One was wandering around and The Bouncy One was picking up the messy yard. So I decided to get the heck away from that sound and did my special move that gets me out of my collar, but kind of hurts.





My Escape From
The Irritating Noise






When I was free, I looked around and The Serious One and The Bouncy One weren’t nearby. So I decided to take myself on a very good walk.

This turned out to be the wrong decision.




Here's why it was the wrong decision: I went the wrong way. I wanted to go to where the dogs are, but instead I walked down the road where the cars are zooming by super fast. I only got to walk for about the time it takes for a good ball toss when I met these people who really really liked me. I mean they REALLY liked me. They gave me water and petted me and hugged me and made me go in their house when I really would have preferred to go exploring some more. Their house was pretty small but had lots of good food smells. They gave me some tasty treats and I settled down on their nice cool floor. I stayed there for a really long time because they wouldn’t let me go outside again and I was dreaming about whether this would be a good place to live and if they would be good ball tossers.




Possible New Home If
It Doesn't Work Out
With The Serious One and
The Bouncy One




When it was getting kind of dark, all of a sudden The Bouncy One comes a running up and she is really really excited. She bursts into the house and whisks me away into the car and then goes back into the house. She is talking with my kidnappers when I see The Serious One running down the street towards me. He jumps into the back seat with me and starts checking me out the way he does, but he seems really happy to see me. I do not know why they were so excited, I was fine. Geez, relax.

That night, I slept on the floor next to The Bouncy One . who went to bed pretty early after she drank all that red stuff.

She's Just Not That Into You

Okay here's what happened. The Bouncy One was exceptionally bouncy when she came back from being gone all day. There was not even a good walk. Much much bouncing around and then The Girls started coming. Woo-hoo, they were very happy to see me, but then did not take me out for a ball toss nor a walk. Hmmpf. Then, of all people, The Non-Petter showed up, barely acknowledged my presence, and proceeded to take away any attention that The Girls were showing me.






The Non-Petter Not Petting Me











Then I was locked up in the little room with my food bowl and ignored for hours. There was many happy sounds coming from the other side of the door and I was really wondering what I was missing, but it didn't sound like ball tosses. I guess what I've learned is that not everyone who shows up will take me for a good walk or give me a ball toss, but that doesn't mean that they are necessarily bad people. Cat people maybe, but not bad people

Not Just Another Day at the Beach

Okay, so here’s what happened… I thought it was just going to be another hot boring day, but then The Bouncy One starts bouncing around the way she does when she is preparing to leave. I can tell this because there is the “gathering of stuff” on the floor near my food bowl. Then there is scampering around making it dark and wiggling doors. It is about this time that I am hoping hoping hoping I will see her get MY stuff…like my leash because this will mean that I get to go too.

Then I hear the best words ever “Cmon Sylvester, Load Up”. YAY! I am now in the back seat of the car. It’s always a surprise when I get in the car, because I never know where I will end up, but it is usually in a good place. I notice that when The Bouncy One is in the car alone with me, there is always the talky talky talky sounds coming from somewhere in the car. When The Boy and the Girl use to take me places, there was nicer sounds that make me want to wag my tail in a special way.

So when we stop we are at a house that has rocks and no grass to roll around on. I am taken on a super short walk and then immediately tied up with the orange rope in this room where it was pretty cool, but I could still see outside. Then she leaves me and goes in the house, clearly forgetting how much I like to go IN houses. So in a little while The Bouncy One comes out with someone who looks at me but doesn't pet me. What is up with that? She, The Non-Petter, gets in a car and leaves and then The Bouncy One takes me on a very good walk. Not only were there good dog smells all along the way, but I got to go in water !!! This water was moving and had A LOT of grass IN the water which was strange. Also, it was NOT tasty.


Me In The Water That Didn't Taste Good

After the very good walk, I was tied up again resting when all of a sudden a whole bunch of Beyoutiful People rode up on bicycles and were really surprised and excited to see me and there was lots of petting and checking me out. But then they disappeared without even so much as a ball toss. It was REALLY hot outside but it was okay where I was hanging out in the room with the bicycles.

After awhile The Bouncy One, The Non-Petter and some of the Beyoutiful People went with me on a walk on the very hot road. And right when it looked like it was going to get interesting all the Beyoutiful People kept going onto the sand and I had to stay back. This was very disappointing. It was as if only Beyotiful People could go on the sand and not dogs.

After the short hot walk, I was put in the garage for awhile and became very upset when a very very LOUD cracking noise happened across the street. I became so upset I snapped off my collar and hunkered down near the steps. Some of the Beyoutiful People came back and got The Bouncy One and she tied me up again and calmed me down. I gotta tell you, this was not the happy adventure that I was hoping for when I got in the car that day. But The Bouncy One seemed very happy to visit The Non-Petter and The Beyoutiful People, so I guess that is a good thing.



Me with some of the non-ball tossing Beyoutiful People

The Dog Days of Summer

Okay, here’s what happened today. Nothing. So I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog, but that is because it has been so BORING that I have had nothing to say. I would like it not to be boring, but it is. I think that the reason that it is boring is because it is so dang hot outside.

I can tell you that I can not remember it ever being this hot for this long. When I wake up in the morning and get pushed out the window it’s like getting pushed into an oven. The Bouncy One and The Serious One will play ball with me but I only get about three tosses before I’m suffering from heat exhaustion. The walks have been taking place at the crack of dawn and the middle of the night. I must say I’ve been trying to give them the message that I’m a little afraid of the dark and prefer my walks when I can see exciting new things and when other dogs are out…but they are not getting the message.

There is some good news. The Black Cat has been coming through the see through wall to MY side. This gets me very excited and if I get too excited he runs back through to THEIR side. But sometimes if The Bouncy One is there, he will sit on her lap and I will circle them awaiting further opportunity to chase him. There is, of course, a lot of “NO Sylvester, Lie Down”s and plain old “NOOOOOOO Sylvester”s (use a very loud voice here) when The Black Cat is on MY side, but I gotta tell you…these days….this is the most exciting thing that happens.

Here’s what I don’t understand. How come they are allowed through the little hole in the see-through walls to come on MY side, but I am not able to go through into THEIR side? This is not fair. One time I tried to get over by pushing the see through wall and it almost fell over, but then The Serious One puts a chair in front of it so I’m not so able to do that now.

Oh well…that’s all I got right now. Hopefully something interesting will happen soon.

What’s your problem Larry?

When I got back to the house with the CATS after my vacation, I was expecting the CATS to be super excited to see me, but they were not. As I entered the house I saw them lounging around on MY side of the see through wall area. I thought this was a positive development, but as soon as they saw me they scampered away up the stairs.

I was only hanging around in the house with the CATS for about 2 days when The One Who Is Seriously Concerned About My Health summoned me into the car and whisked me away. After about an hours drive I disembarked into a parking lot with the wonderful aroma of Dogs Dogs Dogs. The Serious One took me into a building and introduced me to some terrific people who I would get to know very well over the next few days. I could tell that these people LOVED me because there was much fussing over me. Thus, I was a little surprised that after all that lovin’ that I was placed in a big CAGE. Hmmm…. All I got was a blanket and a bowl of water…Dog Prison? I was not sure what I had particularly done to deserve this, but it wasn’t too bad as it turns out….


The building with the Good Dog Smells

My CAGE was in a big room where there were a lot of other big cages full of other dogs. The problem was that I could hear these other dogs but I could only see the ones directly across from me. But let me tell you these were some exceptionally noisy dogs. Barking night and day, especially the little beagle down the hall. Yikes.

At one point shortly after my “incarceration”, I was taken out and brought to a little room and then The One Who Is Seriously Concerned About My Health came in. I was happy to see him but he did not want to play. Instead, he hoisted me up on to this table and, excuse me, began the most intrusive inspection of my parts that I have ever experienced.

Well turns out that he is not only Seriously Concerned about my health, but he spends his day being seriously concerned with all kinds of animal’s health.

After the intrusion into my personal space, The Serious One took me into a room where he sits when he is not poking around with animals on a table. It looked like fun at first, but no sooner had I got there, when all hell broke loose.

Now as you may know, I am a BIG dog. Most other animals scoot when I walk by, even some people scoot. So you can understand that I was super surprised when out of nowhere a black girl CAT called Marilyn jumps out from under a desk and ATTACKS me for no reason. She was a hissing away so I naturally made a counter attack and The Serious One had to hold me back. THEN, out from on top of a shelf jumps a black BOY CAT called Larry, who apparently has some sort of relationship with Marilyn because he was super mad at me for scaring his girlfriend. The Serious One brought me to the next room and Larry just wouldn’t let up -- he came after me again. Some of the other people grabbed Larry and someone else grabbed me and brought me back to the Cage. I don’t know why I was put away just for walking into a room, but that’s how it went down.

Anyway, my days at this place were pretty pleasant. I was taken outside several times a day for a walk around the perimeter. I also got a few ball tosses, although these folks seem to think it is really important to bring the ball back to them EVERYtime they throw it. I disagree.

The Serious One came back one day and brought me back to the house with the CATS. As usual, they greeted me with bugged out eyeballs and their hair standing on end. I do wish we could all be friends.

Vermont Life - The Dog Issue Part Two

Okay, so I have to finish telling you about my vacation….so here’s what happened next.

The next morning The Overly Affectionate One shows up again and we all pop in the car for a bit of a ride. I have no idea where we are headed but it is very hot outside so it’s nice to be in the cool car. When I get out we are at a place that looks like a big party and OMG OMG, there are dogs on leashes everywhere so I don’t feel like such a geek with mine on. So many of them immediately come up to me to say hello and I can tell that The Bouncy One is nervous about this because her voice is very high. At this place there are lots tables with food and stuff and people walking around getting the food on the tables. But mostly I am interested in meeting the dogs.

So after walking from where the cars are to where the tables are, I am feeling really good. There is this sign when you first come up to where the tables are. This sign says “TheWaitsfield Farmer’s Market Welcomes Your Well Behaved Dogs” And there are many people gathered around this sign. And there is a picture of a dog on this sign. Here is what the sign looked like:


As we come in, I took one look at that sign and I just walked right up to it in front of all those people and lifted my leg and peed all over it.

Well you would not believe what happened next – everyone was laughing so hard – I mean everyone… apparently this was hilarious. They were saying all kinds of things like “Hey … a dog anarchist” and “he’s saying “Screw you…I’ll show you well behaved”.

The Bouncy One was laughing too but she was M-A-D again and was giving me quite the scolding when one of the Visitors from the night before showed up and saved me from getting a whomping ! It was the Short Visitor and she was very happy to see me but before I knew it I was going back to the car and I had to stay in the car for a while until they all came back with their packages. I was a little bummed.

But then we were on the move again and before I knew it we were walking around with The Short Visitor and she let me go into another house that smelled good and The Tall Visitor who was a good ball tosser was there. I really like it when people let me in their houses.

All of us went on a good walk in the woods. It was very neat because one minute you are in this house and then the next minute you are in the woods going for a good walk and you don’t have to go in the car.

First the walk was going up and The Bouncy One was panting quite a bit, but she doesn’t stick her tongue out when she pants like I do. Then it went down and her panting stopped. The Overly Affectionate One liked to go in the stream like I did but she didn’t drink it, she would just lift up rocks and show everyone the bugs that were under the rocks. She found this fascinating. (??)


Here is a picture of me on the walk (look carefully - I'm in the woods!):

When the good walk was over there was much hugging of The Visitors and we left. There was a lot of lying around for the rest of the evening…everyone was tired.

The next day The Overly Affectionate One came over again but She and The Bouncy One left me out in the back yard a little too long and I really wanted to see her so I jumped on the Screen so they would notice me and I sort of put a hole in the screen. Sigh.

That day was kind of boring and there was limited walks. The most exciting thing that happened was that there was a special sleeping animal down by the river that I really wanted to meet but was restrained from meeting in a very big way. Here is a picture of the sleeping animal:



But at night there was a big noisy commotion – big bangs and bright lights that everyone was excited to see. Not me so much....The Bouncy One had slipped me a little treat of peanut butter that made me super relaxed and so I slept through most of it. All in all a super fun trip.

Vermont Life – The Dog Issue: Part One

OMG – I went on vacation…. Here’s what happened:

It was a typical day of hanging around the house eyeing the cats and then suddenly The Bouncy One bounces in, swoops me up into the car and next thing I know I’m in the car for a really really long time. She hardly ever stops and when she does, it’s for a super short time and I barely have time to do my business of sniffy, etc. before I’m back in the car. The car is all full of stuff and I’m a little cramped, but I do have my bed and my ball and my new toy “Bruce”. When we finally stop for good and I get out I look around and realize that I have been to this place before ! We go into the house and I am so excited because I can smell The Boy and The Girl. I look for them all over this place but they are not there and that makes me a little depressed for about 10 seconds until I get distracted by a fly buzzing around and I forget all about them.

I sleep in a room with The Bouncy One because I can tell she’s a little uptight about being in this place with no one else there and it’s really dark. She won’t let me on the bed, so I sleep right next to her on the floor which is nice because she pets me until I fall asleep.

The next morning we are up as soon as the lights go on outside. I am really anxious to go discovering but was a little disappointed when I got tied up in the back with not much to do but walk around and look at the birds. It was a little boring - so after awhile I decided to dig a really big hole. The hole I made was under the tree where all the flowers are and I thought it would be way more comfortable if there was a hole for me to sit in while I looked at the birds. And you know, it was comfortable! No sooner had I sat down all cozy when The Bouncy One comes out a yelling at me for what I do not know.

The rest of the day was also really boring and The Bouncy One left me alone for HOURS. When she came back I was glad to see her so I slept beside her again.

Things started picking up the next day though. After I ate my breakfast, she put me in the car and I was a little suspicious as to where we might be going because I was NOT interested in another long ride. But it was a short ride. And when I got out I couldn’t believe my eyes…it was like Dog Heaven. First thing I see is never ending fields….then I see a BUNCH of dogs. Of course, The Bouncy One immediately puts my leash with the CHOKEY thing on and I have to stay real close. But we go on this amazing walk along a river. I can tell that this is Dog Heaven because of all the glorious dog smells. I do not have enough pee in me satisfy my urge to spread the good news of my presence, but I try. But here’s the thing that I don’t understand. NONE of the other dogs have leashes on…their people HAVE leashes but they are just carrying them or wearing them around their necks. I am the only one with one attached to me. It’s SO embarrassing. I know I had more fun than The Bouncy One though because she had to carry not one, but two of those little bags of my business for most of the walk.

When we got home I was exhausted so I mostly just laid around and then we had company ! I love company ! This company seemed familiar, like I met them before, but I couldn’t really place them. There was a short one with a big basket of stuff and then a tall one with a bag of something. They seemed very happy to see me, so I decided to do something really cute in order to elicit some extra attention from them and perhaps get a ball toss or something. I went and got Bruce and brought him right to them. Just so you know, Bruce is a cat….not a real cat, but something The Serious One brought me. I think they call it Bruce so that I can distinquish it from the other cats and know which one I’m allowed to chew.


This is me and Bruce


Then someone else showed up…I knew HER ! She’s The Overly Affectionate One!!! And she was very very glad to see me.

The Visitors and everyone walked around all over the house and yard like forever yacking and carrying those big glasses with the red stuff in ‘em before they turned their attention to me again and I got a really good ball toss. The Tall Visitor was the best ball thrower but The Short Visitor wasn’t too bad either. All in all a super fun day.